Talking about ass here.

“Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.”

Someone threw that line at me recently.

As my twisted mind spent the next 20 minutes finishing that line.

Here are the top 3 second halfs to that phrase:

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one-

1. And unless its your own, it stinks. (Think I’m wrong? Next time you are at the bank, bend over and stick your nose in the ass crack of the lady ahead of you. Once the effects of being maced and/or tased fade, see if you can remember if it stank or not. And if she was hot, the test is now tainted. Guys will accept anything for hot chicks.)
2. And mine is better than most. (I have to say, this is the God’s honest truth. My ass is awesome. I’m not saying you could bounce a quarter off of it like when I was a pre-teen alter boy, but if I shaved it, man or woman you could not keep your hands to yourself.)
3. And keep your finger out of mine. (I think that line speaks for itself.)

There comes a point when you need to recognize that your opinion is just that, an opinion.

And then…..

Let it the fuck GO.

I have had 3 instances that simply pointing out the hypocrisy or the irony about some screed that someone posted online led to upset.

And the level of butthurt that went on was shocking.

2 of them were about how to live your life.

Vague, tough love credos tend to be the type of thing that goes over big in the off the rack society generated by social media.

The one thing that they all seem to have in common is that they badger you about how big a waste of time social media is, while using social media links like the biggest attention whores on the internet.

The 3rd one had such a solid base of hypocrisy, it was like the literary version of slight of hand.

It started off talking about the ultimate acceptance of all things and all people and posited that everyone is right.

Religion, politics, social conventions, and anything else you can think of.

And then, the next 3 quarters of the screed was a promotion of their personal religious/political belief is the only thing that makes sense to the point of other beliefs being ridiculous.

The biggest mistake you can make when dealing with the echo chamber mentality of modern thought, is to voice either a contrary opinion or not praising it immediately.

And I want to feel bad, but there has to be a line where people stop being coddled.

The base understanding needs to be made that not everything one person or group believes is right.

Sometimes, and lets all take this step together, sometimes there are multiple correct things.

And this is where coffee comes in.

Because when someone makes a comment that you either disagree with or you think is simply half tarded, you can just pick up your cup and take a long sip, then sigh, and say the following:

“Eh, what are you gonna do?”

At first glance, I realize how that line looked to those who have never done it.

But try it, honestly, you will be shocked.

Its the move that they will see as whatever they want it to be.

And it saves the butthurt.

Plus you get to drink your coffee.

Life would be easier if all communication was centered around coffee.

Mmmm coffee….