May 17, 2021Because something DIED up there!There is a cloud of doom hanging over the day, and whatever died in your ass is where it started. Starbucks is a public place, populated with random people, I am OK with that. But, whatever freak dietary lifestyle you live that can render a bathroom uninhabitable for upwards of…Comedy3 min readComedy3 min read
May 17, 2021The Hidden Agenda of NunsI often wonder what is the driving force behind old school shitiness. I bring this up mainly because I found an old picture of me as an alter boy and I was reminded of what a better person I am than most. (I was an altar boy for a total…Comedy3 min readComedy3 min read
May 17, 2021One for the LadiesThere is a holiday show on right now that has a penniless single mom who gave some woman CPR on the way to work, saves a life, is fired by the shitty Grinch she works for for being late and after a LOT of HIGHLY improbable “Notebook” type shit, she…Comedy2 min readComedy2 min read
Apr 18, 2021A gentle rather than brutal ass kicking.Dylan Thomas was an English poet in the 50s. Like all poets that means he was all about the pent up, whininess that permeated the overwhelming majority of poetry from that era. (Test reader is a poet, after reading that line I was told to go fuck myself. …Funny4 min readFunny4 min read
Apr 18, 2021Take a bow, monkeyMoney makes the monkey dance. That is possibly the coolest phrase I have ever heard of. Mainly because that is what the Mayor of Cudahy, California said to an FBI informant. Turns out he was taking bribes for permits to open Kush Clinics. (This was back before it was legal…Funny2 min readFunny2 min read
Apr 18, 2021Dance Monkey DanceJust read something funny. There is a serious post on Facebook by someone who posts nothing but protect life, protect the animals, blah, blah, blah. And everyone who comments are the same types. I have often heard them reference life as being sacred. I agree with that, but not in…Comedy2 min readComedy2 min read
Feb 16, 2021Best to stay upwindPerfume was invented by the ancient Egyptians. They used it in religious ceremonies, burial preparations and daily use. It is some of the most expensive liquid on the planet, ounce for ounce. So, the modern usage for women is to lightly apply it. So why do you need to know…Humor2 min readHumor2 min read
Feb 16, 2021Don’t forget the roses, assholeValentine’s day is one of those days where people freak out for a variety of reasons. Saint Valentine must have been a sadistic son of bitch, setting aside the whole sainthood thing. A quick Google search says that Saint Valentine lived in Rome when Emperor Claudius decided that soldiers were…Comedy2 min readComedy2 min read
Feb 16, 2021Talking about ass here.“Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.” Someone threw that line at me recently. As my twisted mind spent the next 20 minutes finishing that line. Here are the top 3 second halfs to that phrase: Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one- And unless its your own, it stinks…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Feb 16, 2021Girls Gone Wild- Guatemalan roast editionI have joined a sorority. At least, I think I have. At any moment, a pillow fight in peekaboo nighties may break out. Keep in mind, public masturbation is still a crime in the USA. (Europe? Who knows anymore.) I know, I know, details. I am in a Starbucks that…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
